EULOGY FOR NINA
December 6th 2008 17:35
A great mentor and friend of mine passed away last weekend, I found out Wednesday evening, the night before the funeral. My friends asked me if I would write a eulogy for their mother, Nina, as I was unable to attend the funeral, due to tryanny of distance. Here then, is my eulogy, written with love, humour and respect, for a woman, second mother, friend and great mentor of mine, Nina.
(I have not included the family surname out of respect for their privacy)
GNU Free Documentation LicenseLINK
Author: Mtoddy LINK
This photo shows some of the incredible views we had, when we lived on Cremorne Point. I lived in an amazing, huge apartment, with the penthouse on top with its large deck, we looked out across the beautiful harbour, above the waters edge reserve, which was our idyllic childhood playground.
EULOGY FOR NINA
I can't remember how Luke, Michael and I first met. It must have been down at the Cremorne Point pool, that delightful and decrepit public installation, on the harbour water's edge, where we three mini-musketeers, were to spend so many summers, springs, autumns, even the odd day in winter, bathing in the toxic copper sulphate soup that we loved so dearly, entertaining ourselves and annoying everybody around us, no doubt.
I think I was nearly 12 when we three first met. Luke was two years younger than me, and Michael was eight. Being the 'little brother' and the youngest of the family, I did have some sympathies for poor Michael, as I was the youngest of five, rather sociopathic individuals, some of whom would have made an interesting study for forensic scientists!
Although I did feel for the younger brother, I have to admit, at times, it was fun being mean by running away and hiding and excluding him from our games. Sorry Michael, but think of it as unconscious preparation in forging a steely determination to succeed in life! If there is any consolation, my own life experience has been one of abject failure, occasional public ridicule and lots of self pity! The only advantage of that, it makes for good poetry.
However, I digress, sorry Nina! But, you would be well and truly used to my waffle by now! In fact, I can hear her say under her breath, "Oh GAWD!" and rolling her eyes, as she so often did whenever I rabbited on about some nonsense or other.
Getting back to my pals, Luke and Michael, we became firm friends seemingly instantly, as I have no recollections of the usual cagey, foot shuffling boyhood friendship beginnings. Maybe it was due to "Leech", a game Luke had invented with Michael, which had a slight aspect of terror in it, for the younger player of course, being dragged into the deep end of the pool. I am unsure of how we really all met, however, one person I do clearly remember where I met her, was Nina.
We boys were loafing in the sun, on our towels, in the flat, small walled area at the base of the stairs to the pool. Suddenly, Luke said, "There's my mum!" I instantly looked up, expecting to see some weathered, craggy faced old crone, riding down the stairs on a switch broomstick that she would then flail the skin off her broods' backsides with, (which they richly deserved most of the time, and myself only some of the time, but I always escaped), yet, what greeted my eyes was, a ravishingly beautiful young woman, with long flowing auburn hair to her waist, looking every inch the centrefold in a bikini. I was furious!
I thought to myself, "What rubbish! No one's mother looks like that!"
Well, nobody I knew.
All the mothers I knew, looked like a casting call for the Wizard of Oz, and not for the roll of the nice witch! However, as soon as I heard her greet Michael and Luke, and seeing Michael rushing up to her, a little too pathetically, I jealously thought, to then be given a hug and a kiss by Nina, I knew it was true. Their mother was gorgeous! Even their father, David, was gorgeous, although I never told them I thought so!
"Mum, this is Fog!" announced Luke proudly, as if I was some taxidermed mantle piece trophy he had just shot. Luke was grinning at me madly and I thought he must be gloating, for he knew what my mother looked like! What was worse, both Nina and David were incredibly charming and kindly. It was like some tortuous nightmare, only the real nightmare lay waiting back at my own home!
Even though I was almost consumed with jealousy, we remained firm friends. I remember thinking on my way home, 'why did Luke and Michael have such fabulous looking parents, and I had, well, we will blame it on the travails of wartime and too much time at the Yacht Club.
Anyway, soon I was invited to dinner, breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, in fact, I tried to get invited to anything that involved food, for the boys had one other advantage that I did not possess, a mother that could cook! I did ponder upon being adopted by Nina's family, but I knew one of them would have to go first, sorry Luke, you lost in that day dream!
The pork chops and perfect crunchy crackling, I remember ever so fondly, which might go some way to explain why, I today, somewhat physically resemble the animal, that pork chops originate from.
I have been declared a Near Earth Object, by NASA. I blame Nina's wonderful roast dinners!
When staying over, Michael was always the first to clonk his head on the floor, falling dead asleep from sitting position usually, and not long after, Luke was usually led away to bed, like some zombie extra in a B Grade horror flick, leaving just Nina and myself to chat away, when David was away at sea. We would sit up and chat, have cups of tea, and chat and chat across the dining table.
We talked about everything in the universe, including, when appropriate, implicating either Luke or Michael as the guilty party, in whatever fight had erupted that day, using all my powers to convince Nina of my innocence. I was, at times, an obsequious and conniving little monster. Nina would just laugh, she saw straight through me every single time! Having said that, it was usually Luke's fault!
However, Luke, I never gave you up, unless absolutely necessary, even though a slight smile may have creaked across my treacherous reptilian lips, whenever I managed to escape blame. You always stole the last biscuit Luke, admit it! Although, it was fun seeing poor hapless Michael getting into trouble for it, but never for long, he always dobbed his older 'brothers' in, bless him!
I could write a four hundred page novel about the time we shared together, although it was only a handful of years in our youth. It seemed a lifetime of laughter and discovery, summer days at the pool, and searching for the poor wretched crabs in Shell Cove, after the tide had gone out. I don't think the population has recovered yet!
Lastly, I have to let everyone know just how extremely important Nina was to me personally.
One Christmas holidays, I turned up at their home, as usual, and Nina was in a serious and slightly annoyed mood. Initially I thought, groovy, Luke is gonna cop it, whatever it is, he deserves it! Actually, I was rather wary and a bit fearful, in case we all got grounded for the day. As it turned out, Nina's bad mood was all about the school report card. Nina promptly told me that the boys did not get into the "A" class, as usual.
Nina then stared at me, one eyebrow raised, in her usual inquisitorial manner, then asked in her driest, accusatory and penetrating tone,"I suppose you got into the "A" class as usual?"
I was shocked, and immediately retorted, "Who me? Gosh no! I'm in the dumb class as usual." Of course, drier, crueller wits today would have remarked that I should have been in a 'special' school for the intellectually challenged, going on the way I have led my life since those days! Any children listening, stay away from drugs and alcohol!
So, Nina's response to my own admission, that I was indeed a congenital idiot, a complete thicky and dunderhead, was explosive!
"WHAT?!" What do you mean you are in the dumb class?" Nina exclaimed.
"I've always been in the dumb class. (pause) I am dumb!" I said rather matter of factly. A rare admission on my part, however, Nina's incredulous shock and immediate anger, goaded me into playing safe.
"Justin, you are not dumb. You are one of the smartest people I know." Nina said somewhat compassionately. Of course, in my head I countered, 'well, Nina, you must know some pretty stupid people!'
But no, I didn't say that to her. That statement by Nina, was the first positive encouragement I had ever received from an adult, or anyone actually, to this very day. I have never forgotten it, nor the way Nina was strict about us boys playing fair and behaving ourselves, but also allowing us incredible liberties, to debate on all manner of issues, allowing us to play cards late, even toy roulette, and watch the movie marathons, till we started to drop off to sleep.
Nina, and David, gave my childhood a magic it would otherwise not have had. I received lots of unconditional love and had lots of fun with her boys, Luke and Michael, who also gave me true friendship, which has been far too rare in my life, before and since.
Nina's family became my second family. They came into my life at a crucial time, for me emotionally, and became the most important relationship in my life, and none of that would have happened, if Nina and David, had not opened their arms and their hearts to me.
I grieve today with you. I am sorry I could not get there. I wrote this, now too long eulogy, because I needed you all to know how special a person Nina was to me, and how her family remains in my heart, to this very day.
I have lost a lot of family and close friends over the years, so one thing I have become aware of, we live on after death. I do not know how, or what happens, but many times I have been made aware of the presence of others, that I loved, who have recently passed on, into the next dimension.
Nina was a great character and friend, the daughter of a Russian Royal Household, who was a dignified person and every inch an aristocrat.
God Bless you Nina,
always,
your other 'son',
fog
My friend Luke told me, the following day, that my eulogy was very well received. I had been slightly worrried, that it may not have been, right after I sent it to them, the night before Nina's funeral. However, he said it lightened the mood, at the right time, and everyone laughed and cried, and the memories came flooding back.
Nina loved my irreverant humour and I hope she was listening in, with a big smile.
I have lost a great mentor, but my friends, Luke and Michael, have lost their dear mother, and David, his partner. My pain is nothing compared to theirs.
Pax Nina
(I have not included the family surname out of respect for their privacy)
View across Sydney Harbour, from Cremorne Point.
Author: Mtoddy LINK
This photo shows some of the incredible views we had, when we lived on Cremorne Point. I lived in an amazing, huge apartment, with the penthouse on top with its large deck, we looked out across the beautiful harbour, above the waters edge reserve, which was our idyllic childhood playground.
EULOGY FOR NINA
I can't remember how Luke, Michael and I first met. It must have been down at the Cremorne Point pool, that delightful and decrepit public installation, on the harbour water's edge, where we three mini-musketeers, were to spend so many summers, springs, autumns, even the odd day in winter, bathing in the toxic copper sulphate soup that we loved so dearly, entertaining ourselves and annoying everybody around us, no doubt.
I think I was nearly 12 when we three first met. Luke was two years younger than me, and Michael was eight. Being the 'little brother' and the youngest of the family, I did have some sympathies for poor Michael, as I was the youngest of five, rather sociopathic individuals, some of whom would have made an interesting study for forensic scientists!
Although I did feel for the younger brother, I have to admit, at times, it was fun being mean by running away and hiding and excluding him from our games. Sorry Michael, but think of it as unconscious preparation in forging a steely determination to succeed in life! If there is any consolation, my own life experience has been one of abject failure, occasional public ridicule and lots of self pity! The only advantage of that, it makes for good poetry.
However, I digress, sorry Nina! But, you would be well and truly used to my waffle by now! In fact, I can hear her say under her breath, "Oh GAWD!" and rolling her eyes, as she so often did whenever I rabbited on about some nonsense or other.
Getting back to my pals, Luke and Michael, we became firm friends seemingly instantly, as I have no recollections of the usual cagey, foot shuffling boyhood friendship beginnings. Maybe it was due to "Leech", a game Luke had invented with Michael, which had a slight aspect of terror in it, for the younger player of course, being dragged into the deep end of the pool. I am unsure of how we really all met, however, one person I do clearly remember where I met her, was Nina.
We boys were loafing in the sun, on our towels, in the flat, small walled area at the base of the stairs to the pool. Suddenly, Luke said, "There's my mum!" I instantly looked up, expecting to see some weathered, craggy faced old crone, riding down the stairs on a switch broomstick that she would then flail the skin off her broods' backsides with, (which they richly deserved most of the time, and myself only some of the time, but I always escaped), yet, what greeted my eyes was, a ravishingly beautiful young woman, with long flowing auburn hair to her waist, looking every inch the centrefold in a bikini. I was furious!
I thought to myself, "What rubbish! No one's mother looks like that!"
Well, nobody I knew.
All the mothers I knew, looked like a casting call for the Wizard of Oz, and not for the roll of the nice witch! However, as soon as I heard her greet Michael and Luke, and seeing Michael rushing up to her, a little too pathetically, I jealously thought, to then be given a hug and a kiss by Nina, I knew it was true. Their mother was gorgeous! Even their father, David, was gorgeous, although I never told them I thought so!
"Mum, this is Fog!" announced Luke proudly, as if I was some taxidermed mantle piece trophy he had just shot. Luke was grinning at me madly and I thought he must be gloating, for he knew what my mother looked like! What was worse, both Nina and David were incredibly charming and kindly. It was like some tortuous nightmare, only the real nightmare lay waiting back at my own home!
Even though I was almost consumed with jealousy, we remained firm friends. I remember thinking on my way home, 'why did Luke and Michael have such fabulous looking parents, and I had, well, we will blame it on the travails of wartime and too much time at the Yacht Club.
Anyway, soon I was invited to dinner, breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, in fact, I tried to get invited to anything that involved food, for the boys had one other advantage that I did not possess, a mother that could cook! I did ponder upon being adopted by Nina's family, but I knew one of them would have to go first, sorry Luke, you lost in that day dream!
The pork chops and perfect crunchy crackling, I remember ever so fondly, which might go some way to explain why, I today, somewhat physically resemble the animal, that pork chops originate from.
I have been declared a Near Earth Object, by NASA. I blame Nina's wonderful roast dinners!
When staying over, Michael was always the first to clonk his head on the floor, falling dead asleep from sitting position usually, and not long after, Luke was usually led away to bed, like some zombie extra in a B Grade horror flick, leaving just Nina and myself to chat away, when David was away at sea. We would sit up and chat, have cups of tea, and chat and chat across the dining table.
We talked about everything in the universe, including, when appropriate, implicating either Luke or Michael as the guilty party, in whatever fight had erupted that day, using all my powers to convince Nina of my innocence. I was, at times, an obsequious and conniving little monster. Nina would just laugh, she saw straight through me every single time! Having said that, it was usually Luke's fault!
However, Luke, I never gave you up, unless absolutely necessary, even though a slight smile may have creaked across my treacherous reptilian lips, whenever I managed to escape blame. You always stole the last biscuit Luke, admit it! Although, it was fun seeing poor hapless Michael getting into trouble for it, but never for long, he always dobbed his older 'brothers' in, bless him!
I could write a four hundred page novel about the time we shared together, although it was only a handful of years in our youth. It seemed a lifetime of laughter and discovery, summer days at the pool, and searching for the poor wretched crabs in Shell Cove, after the tide had gone out. I don't think the population has recovered yet!
Lastly, I have to let everyone know just how extremely important Nina was to me personally.
One Christmas holidays, I turned up at their home, as usual, and Nina was in a serious and slightly annoyed mood. Initially I thought, groovy, Luke is gonna cop it, whatever it is, he deserves it! Actually, I was rather wary and a bit fearful, in case we all got grounded for the day. As it turned out, Nina's bad mood was all about the school report card. Nina promptly told me that the boys did not get into the "A" class, as usual.
Nina then stared at me, one eyebrow raised, in her usual inquisitorial manner, then asked in her driest, accusatory and penetrating tone,"I suppose you got into the "A" class as usual?"
I was shocked, and immediately retorted, "Who me? Gosh no! I'm in the dumb class as usual." Of course, drier, crueller wits today would have remarked that I should have been in a 'special' school for the intellectually challenged, going on the way I have led my life since those days! Any children listening, stay away from drugs and alcohol!
So, Nina's response to my own admission, that I was indeed a congenital idiot, a complete thicky and dunderhead, was explosive!
"WHAT?!" What do you mean you are in the dumb class?" Nina exclaimed.
"I've always been in the dumb class. (pause) I am dumb!" I said rather matter of factly. A rare admission on my part, however, Nina's incredulous shock and immediate anger, goaded me into playing safe.
"Justin, you are not dumb. You are one of the smartest people I know." Nina said somewhat compassionately. Of course, in my head I countered, 'well, Nina, you must know some pretty stupid people!'
But no, I didn't say that to her. That statement by Nina, was the first positive encouragement I had ever received from an adult, or anyone actually, to this very day. I have never forgotten it, nor the way Nina was strict about us boys playing fair and behaving ourselves, but also allowing us incredible liberties, to debate on all manner of issues, allowing us to play cards late, even toy roulette, and watch the movie marathons, till we started to drop off to sleep.
Nina, and David, gave my childhood a magic it would otherwise not have had. I received lots of unconditional love and had lots of fun with her boys, Luke and Michael, who also gave me true friendship, which has been far too rare in my life, before and since.
Nina's family became my second family. They came into my life at a crucial time, for me emotionally, and became the most important relationship in my life, and none of that would have happened, if Nina and David, had not opened their arms and their hearts to me.
I grieve today with you. I am sorry I could not get there. I wrote this, now too long eulogy, because I needed you all to know how special a person Nina was to me, and how her family remains in my heart, to this very day.
I have lost a lot of family and close friends over the years, so one thing I have become aware of, we live on after death. I do not know how, or what happens, but many times I have been made aware of the presence of others, that I loved, who have recently passed on, into the next dimension.
Nina was a great character and friend, the daughter of a Russian Royal Household, who was a dignified person and every inch an aristocrat.
God Bless you Nina,
always,
your other 'son',
fog
My friend Luke told me, the following day, that my eulogy was very well received. I had been slightly worrried, that it may not have been, right after I sent it to them, the night before Nina's funeral. However, he said it lightened the mood, at the right time, and everyone laughed and cried, and the memories came flooding back.
Nina loved my irreverant humour and I hope she was listening in, with a big smile.
I have lost a great mentor, but my friends, Luke and Michael, have lost their dear mother, and David, his partner. My pain is nothing compared to theirs.
Pax Nina
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Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
Screen Trek
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
thanks mate, I appreciate it.
cheers
fog
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I'm sorry you lost someone so important to you. Your words are beautiful.
Tracy
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
Screen Trek
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
sorry it has taken so long to reply to your message, I was not notified by Orble, (which is interesting, as I was told by a pal that she hasn't been notified of my posts for ages..).
Anyhoo, tanx for the kind sentiments.
cheers
fog