How to invade a planet.
March 21st 2010 16:18
First things first; one must have the technology to travel through space in a way that defeats the tyranny of time and distance. Then, you may decide to find a planet that looks quite fetching, something in blue, perhaps? It's an entirely subjective thing of course, but, there must be some basic prerequisites before your planetry 'purchase';
photographers/ownership unknown; see below
Your prospective planet must sustain your alien life form, or at least be adaptable, like turning the oceans into primordial warm green sludge. Why green? I don't know, ask a friggin alien, or NASA for that matter.
Then, there is the atmosphere; any self respecting alien wouldn't want to be wearing a bio-hazard suit and breathing apparatus forever, so, more green, gas this time.
Food, you wonder? Well, maybe some tasty GENETICALLY MODIFIED squash, of the white variety untouched by sunlight, or any other GM contrived substance, which cross pollinates with every other friggen plant on your target planet.
Now, to invade anywhere, there must already be an existing life form occupying the planet, and if so, then there is an invasion clause for all occassions, which assumes your particular alien species to be the ultimate height of civilisation and, therefore, being much more technically advanced than say, us humans for example, you declare the planet terra nullius, and proceed to invade at will, kill all resistance with your advanced weaponry and enslave the rest, oh, and plant your flag in the dirt, green, of course.
However, what if the planet you seek to take as your own is over-populated with hostile beings, like humans? Well, you would choose a less confrontational approach, the stealthy way, surely?
Of course, all advanced civilisations would choose stealth, as they slowly infiltrate by a hidden cross breeding programme, while doing deals with the big powers, you swap some old hat technology that, to us humans, makes our head spin, you then gain access to areas for establishing a protected ground base, and slowly infiltrate the decision makers.
Then, once you have positioned all your alien Trojan Horses, you release a terrible disease that wipes out all the humans, leaving the half breeds, always useful as servants.
Gee, anyone see that stinker "V" the TV show? It's really a cop show disguised as sci-fi and it is woeful.
Have a nice day, and the next time you bump into someone and immediately think, "Hey! He's not human!"....you just may well be right!
IMAGE CREDITS: IF ANYONE CAN PROVE THEY HAVE EXCLUSIVE COPYRIGHT OVER ANY OF THESE IMAGES, INFORM ME AND I WILL CREDIT YOUR NAME AND LINK TO YOUR SITE, OR REMOVE THEM FORTHWITH IF SO DESIRED ONCE PROOF OF AUTHORSHIP AND/OR OWNERSHIP IS PROVIDED.
This OBE looks wired...
Your prospective planet must sustain your alien life form, or at least be adaptable, like turning the oceans into primordial warm green sludge. Why green? I don't know, ask a friggin alien, or NASA for that matter.
Then, there is the atmosphere; any self respecting alien wouldn't want to be wearing a bio-hazard suit and breathing apparatus forever, so, more green, gas this time.
Who's a pretty boy then?
Food, you wonder? Well, maybe some tasty GENETICALLY MODIFIED squash, of the white variety untouched by sunlight, or any other GM contrived substance, which cross pollinates with every other friggen plant on your target planet.
Now, to invade anywhere, there must already be an existing life form occupying the planet, and if so, then there is an invasion clause for all occassions, which assumes your particular alien species to be the ultimate height of civilisation and, therefore, being much more technically advanced than say, us humans for example, you declare the planet terra nullius, and proceed to invade at will, kill all resistance with your advanced weaponry and enslave the rest, oh, and plant your flag in the dirt, green, of course.
However, what if the planet you seek to take as your own is over-populated with hostile beings, like humans? Well, you would choose a less confrontational approach, the stealthy way, surely?
OOPS! Too much vodka? Disc in Russia.
Of course, all advanced civilisations would choose stealth, as they slowly infiltrate by a hidden cross breeding programme, while doing deals with the big powers, you swap some old hat technology that, to us humans, makes our head spin, you then gain access to areas for establishing a protected ground base, and slowly infiltrate the decision makers.
Boy, does he look dead tired!
Then, once you have positioned all your alien Trojan Horses, you release a terrible disease that wipes out all the humans, leaving the half breeds, always useful as servants.
Gee, anyone see that stinker "V" the TV show? It's really a cop show disguised as sci-fi and it is woeful.
Have a nice day, and the next time you bump into someone and immediately think, "Hey! He's not human!"....you just may well be right!
IMAGE CREDITS: IF ANYONE CAN PROVE THEY HAVE EXCLUSIVE COPYRIGHT OVER ANY OF THESE IMAGES, INFORM ME AND I WILL CREDIT YOUR NAME AND LINK TO YOUR SITE, OR REMOVE THEM FORTHWITH IF SO DESIRED ONCE PROOF OF AUTHORSHIP AND/OR OWNERSHIP IS PROVIDED.
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Pop Rock Factory
On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, an incident they say has been covered up by the military.
March 31, 1948, nine months after that day, Al Gore was born.
V . . .
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
Screen Trek
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
Good on yah MNG!
I'll be listening tomorrow night!
cheers
fog
Comment by Samantha Banfield - Witty Sam
Witty Things To Say by Witty Sam
There is so much to think about when it comes to invading a planet. Maybe it's safer to stay home!!
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
Screen Trek
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
yes, they seem to have a habit of ending dead tired....
And yes, it is safer to stay at home, but then, some argue we (our distant ancestors) invaded this planet! tee hee!
cheers
fog